Jihad Jane and Jailed Juvies — what’s with Pennsylvania!?!

What’s with Pennsylvania and neighboring Maryland?!?  We’ve had Jihad Jane, now the Nittany Nazi turned Happy Valley Jihadi, and the Marylander Mujahid.

You can blame it on ideology if you want, but the reality is these people are just NUTS!

 

“August on track to be Philadelphia’s wettest month ever”

You don’t need a weatherman to let you know when you’re getting soaked.

The school district is even further "underwater"

 

“Bridal salon refuses to sell dress to N.J. lesbian bride” (or…there go the briiides)

Thank god we still have sensible business people like Donna Saber trying to do their part to stop the downward spiral into moral decay that continues every day in our society.  Okay, so maybe as a business person she’s not all that sensible…

Donna Saber's Relationship and Business Advice?

“Nutter in Rio with EPA to teach, learn about green development”

In reality, who can blame the mayor for flying down to Rio at this point in time?  With brazillions of dollars in delinquent taxes uncollected and juvenile delinquents doing the bossy nova on innocent pedestrians, it’s not exactly carnival time here in the City of Brotherly Love.  And it looks like Rio may truly be a sister city because, according to Wikipedia, they also suffer from corruption, violent crime, functional illiteracy and poverty.

In the same way that Philly can teach Rio, perhaps they can teach us a thing or two.  Like how to infuse a little more “joie de vivre” into our own New Year’s Day “carnival,” which is often like a plodding sporting event staged by overweight plumbers in elaborate drag.

The Feds are picking up the tab for this trip, so showing Rio how to go green shouldn’t cost the city any green (that’s the official story anyway).  Are the Feds paying the way of private industry as well?  I guess it doesn’t matter since some of those consulting firms live on public dollars anyways. I think the mayor may be a little too hopeful, though, that Philly will see the sort of population that Rio has – we’d need a 6 fold increase to match Rio and that ain’t gonna happen.

All in all, let’s not quibble over our local delegation’s carbon footprint in flying down to Rio and just hope they have plenty of fun in the sun!

Remember it's not Copabanana Beach -- youse not in Philly anymore

Philadelphia School District’s Ladies Who Lunch Well!

Isn’t it nice that Arlene Ackerman doesn’t have to eat her lunch all by herself.  I’m happy that my tax dollars allow our super superintendent to bond with her BFF, Melonease Shaw, on a regular basis while eating high quality meals.  It’s interesting that Ms. Shaw’s Maven, Inc. website is suddenly offline…oh, I’m sorry, it’s “under construction.”  Probably just a coincidence that she’s decided to revamp the site at this point in time or maybe all those warm words from Arlene overheated the server.

It appears, though, that Ms. Shaw has been dining out on the city for years, as she has other good friends in high places.  Some of them are on the board of her OTHER company that provides essential services in Philly.  Her original board chair is her former employer who has chased large facilities management contracts with the city (and one of HIS board members is also a member of the Obermayer law firm.)  The current chairman is the upstanding, Hillel Levinson. who was the city’s MDO in the 70s and 80s.  He beat a corruption rap back in the 70s, and coincidentally has a company that has NO WEB SITE AT ALL – a little sketchy in this day and age and the only thing the company seems to do is make political donations.  Another Transitional board member, Walter Cohen, works for a law firm that is quite generous with it’s political donations.  Wow!  $20,000 to Vince Fumo…hey, isn’t he a criminal…?

This is just another chapter in the saga of the Philadelphia School District – a rat’s nest of corruption and insider dealing where money trumps our kids’ opportunity for an education every day.

Devon Horse's Ass Show?

Dirty, Rotten Shame on Filthydelphia (Philthadelphia?)!

No matter what way you spell it, we’re still a bunch of slobs.

But on the positive side, this is just another opportunity for re-branding!

Dan Rottenberg is Thinking about Sucker Punching You (or…provoking a mob attack)

[Warning: satire ahead]

A group of pale, young Emo and Goth men are staging a play called, “Dan Rottenberg Is Thinking About Sucker Punching You: An Educational Presentation.”  Mr. Rottenberg recently wrote an editorial excoriating the wimpiness of today’s “metrosexuals.”  Back in Mr.  Rottenberg’s day, young men were taught to fight and defend themselves (if you’re skeptical of the benefits of fistfighting, just ask John Street).  Today they go to anti-bullying schools in quiet suburbs, stay inside playing video games all day, and wouldn’t recognize a punching bag if it weren’t on a Wii screen!  So they have no muscles and when they move to the rough and tumble city they are ill prepared to protect themselves from the flash mobs that are just a fact of life in this city.  We can’t do much about gangs of marauding youth, but yuppies CAN man up and fight back.  If you’re on the street with your smartphone looking wimpy and twee, then you’re just asking to get sucker punched.

Those jeans are way too provocative...does this look like Paris, m****rf***er!?!

NEWS FLASH: Large groups of idle teens engage in mob behavior

“Let thy child’s first lesson be obedience and the second may be what thou wilt.”  That’s a nice thought from a founding father…obviously not one that’s been ingrained in many of our city’s youth.

Our illustrious mayor has been vowing to prevent gangs of kids from rampaging through our city for well over a year.  He and Charles “Slim” Ramsey, need to expend more than an ounce of prevention.  These kids seem to roam and attack with abandon.  In a down economy, the last thing you want is to scare off all the tourists.  And that’s a real possibility.  Heck, I used to live in NYC in the bad old days, now live in Center City and even I’m worried about being seriously maimed by a bunch of tween hooligans!

Nutter is big on branding, but he may have to do some re-branding if mob rule becomes the norm in this city…

"A mob's a monster; heads enough but no brains." -- B. Franklin