Councilwoman, Blondell Reynolds Brown has introduced legislation to help raise $5 million annually for the school district.
The truth is, the proposal simply does not go far enough. If one extra hour of imbibing can raise $5 million, then just think how much more you could raise if the BARS WERE OPEN FOR 24 HOURS!!!
That’s right, pubs and bars open 24/7. You can get your drink on ANY TIME! We know at first glance this seems like it might cause problems, but the reality is that it completely solves the problem of later closures.
Everyone knows that trouble starts WHEN THE BARS CLOSE, so if they NEVER close, there should never be any trouble. By eliminating “last call” you eliminate angry drunks from loitering on the street. With our plan, all the drunks would simply stay on their barstools until they passed out or died of alcohol poisoning.
We have a few other suggestions for using beverages to aid our schools — and NO it’s not that stupid soda tax! But we’ll save that for another post…