Archive for December, 2010

Last January, New York City solicited (no pun intended) new designs for the wrapper of the condoms doled out by their health department.  Philly may actually be a “sexier” place than NYC (based on government STD data) so sponsoring its own condom contest isn’t a bad idea

The winning New York design is simple and understated.  I suspect the Philly entries may be a little more in your face.  The contest ends on January 14th and you can enter here

We were able to obtain some early design entries that were rejected immediately – though we’re not sure why these didn’t pass muster.  Maybe some violated copyright?  Anyway,  until the actual winner is announced later this year, enjoy!

Guess these designs couldn't even make it to first base...

Everyone would have called him William Penis. But everyone enjoys a long roll...

The US military has now admitted that being gay is no big deal, but the Boy Scouts of America remain a holdout against sodomites.  They’re not a bunch of sissies like the Marines!  It seems our local Boy Scout council had adopted a non-discrimination policy, but the free-thinkers in the national council put the kibosh on that inclusiveness crap.  The city then threatened to evict the group from their building, so the BSA’s national body sued, and the courts have now sided with the Scouts.

The decision allows the Scouts to buy the building for a good price and then they’ll forgive a million bucks worth of legal fees incurred by the loser (us taxpayers). We’ve been paying the scouts rent for decades, so it only seems fair we don’t have to pay their legal bills as well.

But local gay activists still feel the scouts are in the wrong and want to buy the building  themselves.  The Boy Scouts have furiously battled the homosexual agenda at every turn.  Guess they don’t want to end up like the Girl Scouts.  The BSA want to protect America’s (male) youth from impurity, and we all know that HETEROSEXUAL men never molest boys.  Sure, there’s been some hanky-panky in the BSA, but they prohibit gays from joining in the first place so…um…hey wait a minute…

Anyway, I say sell the building to the pro-hetero, pro-religion, pro-svelte Scouts.  They can man up and shoulder the burden of true ownership – mortgage, taxes, L&I, water bills, predatory developers, etc. – without any help from those nancies in City Hall.

Hot Property

And the accolades just keep coming…Men’s Health Magazine has ranked Philly dead last in the “healthiest American cities” category.  (But a quick look at the web story’s comments section reveals just how bogus the readers consider their “research”.)  Women’s Health Magazine appears to concur with the results (though I suspect they used the same “research” techniques).

There are a lot of these sorts of surveys knocking around.  The Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index ranks Philly (including Camden and Wilmington no less) 80th out of 162 metropolitan areas in physical health.  Which isn’t great, but not as bad as the current Men’s Health opinion.

Travel and Leisure magazine also ranks us quite low in the Athletic/Active category.

I’m not sure this walkable, bikeable city is really any more unhealthy than your average rust-belt metropolis.  I think maybe we’re just different…Perhaps we could begin to change our fate by first updating our food pyramid…

PHILLY PHOOD PYRAMID

There is some controversy about the current dealings of Philadelphia’s gun court, but they may have more to do with state law than any bias in the courtroom.  Judge Paula Patrick may be a truly fair jurist, applying the law as written, though some may see her as a liberal who’s soft on crime.

At the same time, politics makes strange bedfellows and it looks like the Pennsylvania Firearm Owners Association might actually support this judge.  And unlikely as it may seem, the NRA could even consider her for an award

Interestingly, it is apparently legal to openly carry a gun in just about every corner of this state, and it seems like you can carry a gun if required by your job.  Anyone who’s watched “The Wire” realizes that no job requires a sidearm more than that of drug dealer (illegal yes, but a job just the same).

You be the judge...the devil is in the details...

Our newly elected governor says he wants to proceed with Marcellus shale gas drilling while also protecting the environment.  Yeah, right.  The only thing green about Governor Tom “Corporate” are all the Benjamins funneled to his campaign by energy lobbyists — now his “advisers.”  Here’s a family portrait of some of those fockers.

What a bunch of fockers...

One thing that Philly does right is brunch, and there is no shortage of trendy eateries.   And anyone who knows anything about gay men knows that they wait all week for that most fabulous of weekend meals: brunch.  I don’t think there is a single self-respecting gay man who would be caught dead in a chain restaurant like IHOP at brunchtime.   But that’s exactly where Justin Bieber was recently spotted (canoodling with gal-pal, Selena Gomez no less) — at a Center City IHOP having brunch.  Finally all those rumors can be put to rest because we now know for sure that he’s super rooty-tooty fresh’ n NOT fruity!

Carbro-loading.

Hmmm…is it just a coincidence that this New York nun has ended up here in Philly at this particular point in time?  Her activities here are apparently highly restricted.  What does that mean?  Is she allowed out of the convent at least sometimes, like once a week for Bingo?  Okay, so maybe that’s not such a good idea.  However, I suspect there are some Pennsylvanians who would push for her to be allowed a lot more freedom…

Quasi Legal?

But it’s the magazine from USAirways…the airline that charges for curbside check-in and PROHIBITS you from tipping the baggage handlers.  So I guess they have a different definition of “spirit.”

Okay, I can see how we’re more spirited than Phoenix, where they let you die waiting for a transplant.  And we are a bit livelier than DC, but Rio and San Francisco?  Come on…

Here’s a quote from a guy who just got a job shilling for the city (let’s see where he is a year from now):

According to Jack Ferguson, the incoming President & CEO of the Philadelphia Convention & Visitors Bureau, “Philadelphia is a generous, passionate, spirited city…”

This story reminds me of another spirited Philadelphia holiday story…when Santa was booed and pelted with snowballs.

Santa, prior to a spirited attack by Philly phans.