Dan Rottenberg is Thinking about Sucker Punching You (or…provoking a mob attack)

Posted: August 6, 2011 in Criminal Activity, Philebrity/Celebrity
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[Warning: satire ahead]

A group of pale, young Emo and Goth men are staging a play called, “Dan Rottenberg Is Thinking About Sucker Punching You: An Educational Presentation.”  Mr. Rottenberg recently wrote an editorial excoriating the wimpiness of today’s “metrosexuals.”  Back in Mr.  Rottenberg’s day, young men were taught to fight and defend themselves (if you’re skeptical of the benefits of fistfighting, just ask John Street).  Today they go to anti-bullying schools in quiet suburbs, stay inside playing video games all day, and wouldn’t recognize a punching bag if it weren’t on a Wii screen!  So they have no muscles and when they move to the rough and tumble city they are ill prepared to protect themselves from the flash mobs that are just a fact of life in this city.  We can’t do much about gangs of marauding youth, but yuppies CAN man up and fight back.  If you’re on the street with your smartphone looking wimpy and twee, then you’re just asking to get sucker punched.

Those jeans are way too provocative...does this look like Paris, m****rf***er!?!

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