Archive for January, 2012

So now we know why Market East is not as fabulous a shopping district as the Rittenhouse area — there are NO GIANT SIGNS.

Nothing brings in shoppers and tourists like enormous digital, light-up signs (have you heard of Times Square!?!).  There is evidence to support this in Philadelphia.  The crowds increase exponentially on east Market Street during the holidays.  WHY?!  Because of the giant holiday light board in Macy’s (formerly Lord & Taylor, formerly Strawbridge’s, formerly Wannamaker’s).  Large planar surfaces with lots of lights increase property values and lure hordes of urban dwellers.  Who wants to stay home when you can bask in the glow of a million LEDs!

The Gallery (one of the first inner city malls in America) is also slated for a makeover.  One of the first steps is a better food court, because lord knows there are no unique food locations near the gallery (Panera Bread, HELP!!!)

Nobody denies that Market East is sort of shabby, but we’re a little vague on exactly how giant billboards are going to improve things.  Maybe that 2-acre parking lot is going to be transformed into a lighted disco dance floor?  Now THAT might bring a crowd…

Light Fever?

According to today’s  Metro, there are more than a few chefs who could do without the bi-annual event.

It seems some folks-in-the-know in the restaurant business consider Restaurant Weeks as glorified 2-for-1 offers.

And some foodies are even going so far as to publicize the NON-participants in the Week.

There are winners and losers in this tradition.  Sometimes it’s the restaurant that is off it’s game, and sometimes diners get short shrift when the quality of their fancy dining experience is more like what you’d get at your nephew’s wedding.  In past years some prominent restaurateurs have been quite vocal in their dislike of the promotion

Oh, well…there’s obviously some good and some bad in the whole restaurant week concept.  But, when it comes right down to it, we delight in the possibility that some pretentious group of cheapskates comes in from the provinces just to garner bragging rights by eating at a swanky dining establishment and ends up getting the “tourist menu.”

And of course, we don’t for a second mean to imply that any chef is in it just for the money!  That seems impossible!

 

Councilwoman, Blondell Reynolds Brown has introduced legislation to help raise $5 million annually for the school district.

The truth is, the proposal simply does not go far enough.  If one extra hour of imbibing can raise $5 million, then just think how much more you could raise if the BARS WERE OPEN FOR 24 HOURS!!!

That’s right, pubs and bars open 24/7.  You can get your drink on ANY TIME!  We know at first glance this seems like it might cause problems, but the reality is that it completely solves the problem of later closures.

Everyone knows that trouble starts WHEN THE BARS CLOSE, so if they NEVER close, there should never be any trouble.  By eliminating “last call” you eliminate angry drunks from loitering on the street.  With our plan, all the drunks would simply stay on their barstools until they passed out or died of alcohol poisoning.

We have a few other suggestions for using beverages to aid our schools — and NO it’s not that stupid soda tax!  But we’ll save that for another post…

What’s history and nature got to do with a theme park…???

The Place Where PCBs Come Through?