Archive for July, 2012

For anyone who doubts it’s always 1957 at the City of Philadelphia…Just today (yes, July 30th, 2012) my coworker needed a replacement light bulb and this is what he found…

It was an incandescent bulb that would not be out of place in Don Draper’s utility drawer. You might even recognize some “Mad Men” era lighting fixtures on the side of the package.  And speaking of mid-century advertising — flash bulbs!  What are THEY???  A 30-something coworker asked if that was the bulb in a flashlight…ahhh, youth.

What’s even more amazing than the age of this packaging, is the fact that THE BULB STILL WORKED. Take that, compact fluorescents!


Actually, it doesn’t seem all that difficult…  There are absentee landlords all over the tri-state area who specialize in blight in our city.  The pathetic thing is we do almost nothing about it.  Though, hopefully that’s changing with “Blight Court.”

Robert Coyle is such an egregious example of a slumlord that you couldn’t make him up.  One of his attorneys describes him as a “lunch pail, blue collar kind of guy,” which implies he’s not all that smart or savvy.  And if that’s true, how does he go from bus driver to highly leveraged real estate mogul in just a few years?  Any connections aren’t obvious and he doesn’t appear to be much of a political contributor, though he (and his son) have given to John Perzel (another upstanding citizen).

Maybe John can tell us how Polonia, a bank, ostensibly, based in Huntingdon Valley (with several branches near Pt Richmond), ended up having a 49% stake in this mess.  Does Mr. Perzel’s  connection to the bank’s president have anything to do with this?  Call me a conspiracy theorist, but do we really believe this scofflaw had no friends in local government?  Dat ain’t how Philly works…


[Full disclosure:  we thought Slumopoly was an original…oh, well]

A (male) coworker recently emailed this photo to some colleagues – his supervisor considered it inspiring.

And what could be more inspiring than a lady scientist who’s ALSO A CHEERLEADER.

That’s right, not some frumpy researcher tramping around in sensible shoes doing fieldwork in her spare time, but an honest-to-goodness, scantily-clad cheerleader!  This same male colleague is also inspired by Lady Gaga and Britney Spears and sprinkles images of them throughout workplace Powerpoint presentations — totally cool and highly professional.  A woman who was fired and later sued the city (successfully) for discrimination also inspires this same gentleman every day — he got a photo of her and made it part of his screensaver!  All of this harmless inspiration is considered “creepy” by some of the girls in the office.  WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE CHICKS?!?   Are they just jealous they’re not teen pop idols or cheerleaders?!?

But for some reason, some broads at work complained about this image (they found it inappropriate, ooooo…) so they were interrogated by the gentleman’s supervisor who, reasonably, wanted to know “exactly what” it was about this picture they found offensive.  Basically, c’mon, honey, IT’S INSPIRING, what’s wrong with you!?  And if you don’t like it you gotta be specific about why not.

This is why there shouldn’t be no dames in the workplace – too many interpersonal conflicts because they ain’t got no sense of humor.  Gals don’t need to work.  I know they like to have money to spend on shoes or baubles, but come on!

It’s always 1957 in Philadelphia OR Sex and the City Worker

There seems to be an awful lot of online chatter implying that the governor dragged out the Sandusky/PSU investigation for political reasons.

Maybe to spare his campaign contributors? Allegedly, past and present board members of the Second Mile charity are responsible for over half a million bucks in campaign contributions to Corbett’s 2010 election bid.  And Tom approved a state grant of $3 million to Second Mile just last summer (it was initiated under Rendell) in spite of the investigation.  Why such a big chunk of change to a tainted children’s charity while you’re slashing education funds for kids statewide?

And there are rumors swirling on the internet about a sex/pedophile ring that was coordinated out of the York County courthouse.  Allegedly, there are players involved who had close ties to Tom Corbett and the intimations are that Tom made no attempt to investigate any sex scandal or corruption in York, despite lots of credible information.  This included a cyber porn complaint from the chief of detectives herself…but no traction.

But, well, you know, Tom’s a Catholic man so illicit sexual activity that may involve pedophilia maybe doesn’t seem all that unusual.  What’s to investigate?  Yet, the New York Times ran a glowing article implying Tom was much more of a  crusader (and online conservative sentiment concurs) who was “shocked” by the inaction of Penn State administrators.  Can you say perhaps, disingenuous…?

Then there was that other institutional  child molestation case at the Milton Hershey school that seemed to quietly fade from the radar screen, though the sitting governor (a school trustee and fellow Catholic) would have known about it.  The  school simply, and quietly, settled the cases.

But the craziest, and perhaps creepiest,  incident potentially connected to all this is the disappearance of Ray Gricar, the Centre County DA, who some believe was pursuing the Sandusky matter, but met a bad end because of it.  Sure, that seems in the realm of conspiracy theorizing, but people almost never just disappear without a trace…well, unless they’ve been dissolved in acid or sent to a landfill or something.

Their rationalizations are Greek to me! Not exactly the PLATONIC IDEAL of public service…

Clearly it’s hot, or Bart would not want in on the action (but his desire to stake a claim in this development opportunity is not new “news”).   But, clearly Bart cares about the city and all the revenue he can generate for our poor schools.  And if the competition heats up too much, they can all cool it at Bart’s private swim club.


Umm…on another issue maybe we should start calling our town Phire-delphia, what with all the recent incendiary activity.

Between absentee landlords in Brooklyn sitting on dangerously derelict properties, to sadistic sociopaths torching animals, to our own high profile businessman whose decrepit building practically took out a major public transportation artery – this town is SMOKIN’! And not in a good way…

Maybe he’ll call it SPARX Casino…

Chris Christie does not seem to have very good vacation karma.  Last year when he was staying at the state-owned, governor’s summer house on Long Beach Island, there was an inconvenient earthquake.  This year his boardwalk stroll and ice cream cone buying was interrupted by some mouthy constituent who criticized Christie’s education policy.

Fortunately, he’s not yet Vice President, and there was no Secret Service detail to manhandle the free speech-abusing offender.  But, really, Chris doesn’t need any back-up when it comes to intimidation. He doesn’t hesitate to call you stupid or an idiot or publicly insult you all of his own volition.

Wouldn’t he be a welcome addition on the world stage as Vice President?  How better to burnish America’s sterling image than to have, for our second in command, a morbidly obese man prone to temper tantrums?  Just imagine what confidence that would instill…

Well, he did FREAK out on the boardwalk…

Those Occupy hooligans are back in town.  They consider themselves part of the 99%.  And they have crazy ideas — like everyone should be equal in the eyes of the law NO MATTER HOW LITTLE MONEY THEY HAVE!  Crazy!  They also seem to think they can just gather together and PROTEST government policies.  This is especially troublesome on the 4th of July when we are trying to lure thousands of tourists to Philly to spend money.  Nobody wants to come here and get shot or stabbed or set on fire, but NONE of those are as creepy as being subjected to thought crime.  So the Cradle of Liberty’s finest has deployed a large (and no, we don’t mean obese) presence to keep us safe.  Sure, the last Occupy was basically peaceful, but they can’t be trusted like the normal, average citizen converging on the Parkway this week.

Truth is, our constitution is barely worth the paper it’s written on…But Mayor Nutter certainly knows how to put the parch in parchment – NO WATER FOR OCCUPIERS!

Freedom from thirst isn’t free…