It seems Christine Flowers is right, she’s a born conservative. Science has actually found biological differences between people of differing political viewpoints. But, Christine seems to believe that being a conservative makes her superior to immoral, un-American, “liberals” and homosexuals. Her writings are usually predictable and slightly overwrought, but now we know it’s her brain that’s to blame – she’s not simply trying to write as badly as possible. Her most recent column is full of the purplest of prose (though she might go red at the reference to any shade of lavendar). Miss Flowers’ latest screed is inspired by the recent Supreme Court decision on gay marriage. Its incomprehensible writing supports her thesis that the decision has her totally addled. She LIBERALLY employs a thesaurus, but fails to CONSERVE coherence in her column.

We usually find her writing pretentious and cliched. But, now that we know she can’t help it, we can just read her blog for entertainment value…

flowerladystrawman

Scarecrow: I haven’t got a brain… only straw. Dorothy: How can you talk if you haven’t got a brain? Scarecrow: I don’t know… But some people without brains do an awful lot of talking… don’t they? Dorothy: Yes, I guess you’re right.

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