Archive for the ‘Style’ Category

A digital artist in Los Angeles, inspired another LA-based digital artist who in turn inspired local artist Bruce Wayne Berry Jr. to create a video that is the total complement to our Greenest City image (who cares if nobody else thinks we’re green!)…  His video may also be a (fantastical) view of the TRUEST greenest city in that there is not a single human being messing things up.

Check out this eerie video of Phantasmadelphia.  It’s interesting to see, even if illusory, what the city would look like devoid of all humans.  Then again, maybe with our taxes, schools, and bad business climate it will turn out to be a documentary depicting a phuture Philly where all inhabitants have fled!

Reminds us that going green means the streets are paved with gold for some city departments, like the water department...

Reminds us that going green means the streets are paved with gold for some city departments, like the water department…

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After reading John Bolaris’ screed in today’s Metro and last week’s bizarre online postings of Charles Peruto, it’s not hard to understand why these two little guys are friends.  They’re prime examples of Philly’s quirky celebrity culture where vapid, preternaturally tanned egomaniacs are considered high status.  It’s all about them, no matter what the reality is.  It’s like they’re starring in their own urban bromance novel…

bolarisperuto

This article was so lame it just screams to be made fun of.  It was so bad that it doesn’t even warrant a bad journalism award.  Unfortunately the piece seems to be getting taken seriously and pissing people off.  Is Robert Huber actually serious?  Where did he come from?  Geez, even the Amish in Reading Terminal Market treat their Black customers just like…well, CUSTOMERS.  And you couldn’t have more disparate existences than that of North Philly and a farm in Lancaster county…

whiteinphillyspoof

I wonder just how many individuals thought, “Yo, Philly statue!” when they saw today’s google doodle?  Okay, so maybe most of the inhabitants of our fair city thought that, but then we’re not such deep thinkers…

Turns out some other folks might have thought it was a tribute to THEM as well.  Like the University of Louisville.  Heck, even Detroit and Cleveland have one of these sculptures.

Well, google missed a golden opportunity to pay tribute to a REAL Philly sculpture a few years ago during Rocky’s 30th anniversary.  Chumps!

We’re making up for that omission now…

For anyone who doubts it’s always 1957 at the City of Philadelphia…Just today (yes, July 30th, 2012) my coworker needed a replacement light bulb and this is what he found…

It was an incandescent bulb that would not be out of place in Don Draper’s utility drawer. You might even recognize some “Mad Men” era lighting fixtures on the side of the package.  And speaking of mid-century advertising — flash bulbs!  What are THEY???  A 30-something coworker asked if that was the bulb in a flashlight…ahhh, youth.

What’s even more amazing than the age of this packaging, is the fact that THE BULB STILL WORKED. Take that, compact fluorescents!

Mmmmm…Michael Karloutsos seems to be the kind of guy who has a lot on his plate.
Firstly, he has a restaurant to run, and prior to opening the Water Works he had almost no restaurant experience at all – that’s gotta be stressful.

He’s got loans to keep track of, runs a consulting company, has to keep straight how many people actually own the restaurant, he has to remember which political party he’s affiliated with and who he’s raising money for, which of his relatives is in jail, which of his friends might have ties to the mob, and who’s suing him.  On top of all that, he’s even helped out the school district!
Unfortunately for the city, having so many pots on the stove has caused him to completely miss the fact that he hasn’t paid any utility bills for years.  He does make a point, though  — he says he never got a bill from the city.  It makes some sense that you wouldn’t ante up until you got a bill, and nobody in city hall seemed to take notice either. I guess those folks in city government are really busy too, thinking up ways to raise more revenue for our beleaguered city.

Hmmm…maybe it’s time for a trip to the Water Works for a $35 pork chop and an $11 salad and then when I’m done, I’ll just casually make my way to the door.  If anyone comes after me I’ll tell them, “Of course I didn’t pay, I never got the check!”

I thought the building was prix fixe — utilities included!!

 

Here’s a quote from John McNesby, an official with the Fraternal Order of Police:

He’s not respecting the uniform.  People died for that uniform. It’s not Halloween.

Who was he speaking about?

If you guessed the ACTUAL POLICE OFFICER then you would be right.  In Philadelphia, there’s no crime we hate worse than a thought crime.  You can sell drugs, not pay your bills, create hazards for public servants, pummel innocent bystanders on the street, and a few other nefarious activities and you’ll probably get away with it.  If you engage in this sort of behavior because of SOME IDEOLOGY then you’re gonna get beat down.  Blocking traffic and destroying private property as part of a Phillies celebration — no problem.  Blocking traffic in an effort to call attention to economic inequality in America — you’re a menace to society!

We should probably just abolish the 1st Amendment – it causes so much trouble – and make the 2nd Amendment #1.  It’s almost impossible for the average Philly cop to understand some sort of ideological argument, but easy to shoot somebody.  Why should they be forced to think so hard when they’d much rather just taser perps?  If we’re going to hold that 2nd Amendment sacred, then it might be best to eliminate the 1st.  Then, people might really think twice about opening their big mouths, so they’d be much less likely to get shot once everybody’s packing.  A win-win proposition.

The Philly Pride Lady ™ (yes, that’s a trademarked term, and no she’s not a tranny, she’s a REAL lady) has 7 very Ladylike outfits.  They’re actually aprons, because she is engaged in domestic (as opposed to foreign) WORK on behalf of us, the citizenry of Philadelphia.  She is indefatigable in her pursuit of civic unity under our official flag, but how many of us even knew she existed?!?  In a town with no shortage of odd mascots (Curby Bucket,  Philly Phanatic, and (the late) Captain Sewer) the flag lady stands out.  So why isn’t she more widely known…? 

The Lady (who is originally from Topeka) appears to be an anomaly in this town.  She does not appear to be connected to any questionable characters nor look to be skimming cash from the city coffers.  It appears she does what she does through the goodness of her heart with a desire to improve life in the city by instilling civic pride.  She seems almost saintly…

We are left snarkless.