The Reckless Chainsaw Massacre — Or Ungreening the Grid

Residents should be aware that there’s an organization of rabid tree-huggers that are trying to plant one million trees in our area.  That’s one MILLION!! CRRRAAAZY!! Luckily, in this hyper-competitive, sports-obsessed city of Killadelphia, we have an opposing team that’s working to fight this greening juggernaut.  (And you thought Killadelphia was just about shooting folks!) The city is partnering with PECO to “Kill-a-Million” and they’re off to a pretty good start in Queen Village! (PECO is an Exelon company, but maybe in this case should be Mexi-lon since many ”team members” don’t appear to speak much English.)

Perhaps you’re wondering…is the team really up to the job, what with the recent influx of hipsters, locavores and neo-hippies striving to green our blue-collar town?  You bet your assplundh they are!!!  So next time you see some eco-maniac digging a hole and planting a baby street tree, just remember — it doesn’t stand a chance against the home team!

Green city, clean slaughters?

“U Penn Researcher Traces Urban Squirrel History to Philadelphia”

Okay, maybe that’s a bit of a stretch…Yes, squirrels apparently did originate in North America about 36 million years ago, though in the western part of the continent, not in Philly.

If you read the comments on the squirrel article at philly.com, you realize that the average local detests squirrels.  But here’s a surprising tidbit for all you haters out there:  squirrels are cousins of groundhogs.

That’s right.  Those “bushy tailed rats” are not all that different than our beloved Punxsutawney Phil.  They’re both part of the same taxonomic family, Sciuridae.  So if you love Groundhog Day, you have to embrace Sandy Cheeks as well…

The Infrareddest City in America?

A digital artist in Los Angeles, inspired another LA-based digital artist who in turn inspired local artist Bruce Wayne Berry Jr. to create a video that is the total complement to our Greenest City image (who cares if nobody else thinks we’re green!)…  His video may also be a (fantastical) view of the TRUEST greenest city in that there is not a single human being messing things up.

Check out this eerie video of Phantasmadelphia.  It’s interesting to see, even if illusory, what the city would look like devoid of all humans.  Then again, maybe with our taxes, schools, and bad business climate it will turn out to be a documentary depicting a phuture Philly where all inhabitants have fled!

Reminds us that going green means the streets are paved with gold for some city departments, like the water department…

WHEN, not IF, a Tree Falls in the State Forest in Pennsylvania…

If an official is fired because he’s opposed to timbering in state parks and almost nobody hears about it, should we care?  With the exodus of a number of high-ranking officials from the Corbett administration (like rats from a sinking ship) why worry about a single firing?

Well, maybe because this particular state employee seemed to do his job extremely well in the face of industry pressure.  John Norbeck increased park attendance as well as the accompanying revenue, and even his performance reviews were top notch.  The one thing he didn’t do was knuckle under to the logging and mining interests in the state – some of whom are big Corbett contributors.

Michael Krancer, on the other hand, has been praised by those mining interests.  Though it’s not clear whether these two men ever tangled, you wonder if firing a highly respected public servant who worked diligently to protect our environment, might be even a little dismaying to the head of the DEP…?

Krancer has served Corbett well, but he appears to be a smart guy – not the type to actually deny the reality of climate change.  One wonders if he just got tired of defending such an anti-environmental administration as the leader of the state’s Department of ENVIRONMENTAL PROTECTION?

Krancer may not be a great loss for Corbett, as he has attracted controversy, and the fewer guys like Norbeck you have, the less you have to worry about annoying things like scientific evidence…So it looks like the administration is lean and mean and in tip top shape for reelection!

Smarter than your av-er-age boors?

Krancer has his Head in the Clouds (or foggy minds at PADEP)

Isn’t it great that our own state chief of environmental protection leans toward the camp of climate deniers…Then again, maybe he was just being overly grammatically correct.  Though, one would hope that the head of the state DEP would be just as concerned with science as he appears to be with parsing “compound” sentences.  It’s actually a little surprising that there are some PA legislators who DO appear to care about the environment and seem to understand the science behind the issues.

We’re not denying that plenty of pseudoscience was given much credence in times past, and there are some other crazy theories that a lot of people believe in, too…

Dodeca the Halls!

I know we’re a day late and a dozen short, but yesterday’s numerologically significant occasion warrants even a belated celebration, especially at this most celebratory time of year.

It is said to be the last sequential date of the century (I guess if you don’t count 11/12/13 next year).  It’s the last REPETITIVE date is really what they mean.

Excited families welcomed new arrivals at 12:12!  Las Vegas saw a surge in weddings – some right at midnight (on the dot of 12)!

12 x 12 is the combined age of Paul McCartney plus Mick Jagger (plus a toddler) who performed in a special fundraising concert that night.

Dodeca is the ancient Greek word for 12, and people who freaked out over the date might be called dodecaphiliacs (okay, we made that up except for this lone blogger).

And for local interest, there is a special 12-ish thing to be found right here in Philly.  The garnets in Fairmount Park have a dodecahedral shape!  That shiny indigenous rock, the Wissahickon schist can be full of garnets.  You can find some pretty good sized ones in some rocks and if you look along the sandy stream bank you might just find a pile of little ones that have weathered out of the rock.  Voila!  An eggsquisite reminder of the first dozen days of 12/2012.

Philadelphia Orchestra Out of Bankruptcy, but Not Out of the Woods Yet…

Now the orchestra has to raise money.  They could rely on calls to their aging audience OR maybe they could capitalize on what’s trending on local websites!  Updating some old classics may be one way to broaden their appeal…

Limerick Nuclear Spill of no Interest to the Public

That’s right.  According to Exelon officials, this event was not an EPPI,  so why bother folks with some anxiety provoking announcement?  And they release radioactive water with some regularity, so it would be a nightmare trying to inform everybody who might have even a passing interest.  As a courtesy, they did informally notify some downstream localities when the spill occurred — very civic minded of them.

And the NRC knows that the solution to pollution (or radioactivity) is dilution, so once the discharges hit the river the problem is solved!  Though, if I could speak for the creatures that live IN the river, I might have  a few questions…