It is Written…”So the wall was finished in the twenty and fifth day of the month…” Nehemiah 6:15

It looks like the faithful coming for the papal visit in September will be making a true, old fashioned pilgrimage. As in, they will have to walk for miles. It appears that the security will be even more stalwart than the faith of the followers with a “security perimeter” that will stretch for blocks. Which doesn’t exactly radiate a welcoming spirit…

As of now the security measures have not been carved in stone, but it’s not going to be any paradise for the locals. Roads, highways, and even bridges may be closed. Philly Mag thinks we should get some forbearance since this is such a colossal undertaking.

And our esteemed Mayor has even traveled to the Holy See to get some logistical pointers.

Perhaps the multitudes will not be as great as first thought – reports of disillusionment with the pontiff have been brought to light.

Regardless of the potential mess on the ground, it will be a rapturous time for many Catholics and an economic godsend for local businesses.

In terms of actual logistics, the devil may be in the details…

Let’s stamp out any appearance of ungraciousness!  (Translation: I’m tired of walking. How many more kilometers?)

ARAmark of the Devil???

Talk about an unholy alliance…If you google “ARAmark” and “evil” you get 29,800 hits. But perhaps the megacorporation has done some penance, as they are the chosen ones for official merchandise for the Pope’s visit to Philadelphia.

ARAmark sure knows how to put the FUN in the profundo!  Let’s face it, piety and abstinence are sooo last millennium.  It’s the 21^st century and even a pilgrimage by the Holy See has to be accompanied by a merchandising crusade. But we’re sure all the money will go to the poor…oh, wait…Anyway….take a look at some of these Biblically inspired bibelots!

Holy logos, look at all those fine garments! There are lovely vessels for drinking water AND wine; dishes for serving your daily bread; baby rosary beads; and don’t cross crucifixes off the gift list, there will be more of those than the loaves and fishes!

Don’t cut corners on your Pope-wear, get this “I Mitre Pope Francis” t-shirt now!

The only suggestion we might have is a few more “Phillycentric” souvenirs…Maybe silver bullets for killing local werewolves and protecting yourself from those residents who lack halos? Papal pretzels? Or maybe some other regionally inspired tchotchkes…

Get the whole trinity of plush toys — the Father, the Satan, and the history spirit!

“D.A. told of allegations about St. Joe’s Prep teacher in 1970s”

You wonder just how many of these poor guys are still out there?  Men that were molested by creepy priests years ago.  This pervy cleric  may have spent his whole career engaging in sexual misconduct, but, oops!  you waited too long to rat him out.  Now he gets to live with his brethren in a “monitored” community in his sunset years. 

I know it was a different time when nobody would believe men of god did such things.  The allegations have just come out now in the enlightened 21st century, but it seems a shame we can’t apply modern day justice to these nefarious acts.

“Santorum Dreaming of a Red White and Blue Christmas”

Rick Santorum, along with his Patriot Voices, is challenging Americans to BUY AMERICAN this Christmas.  You got that right, CHRISTMAS, not HOLIDAY.  It’s a great patriotic idea and, for you naysayers, as easy as mincemeat pie.  There are even websites devoted to “Made in the USA” products, and what a great selection there is!  Every Tom, Rick, and Harry has a Nintendo or X-Box or tablet computer.  Imagine how excited any family member might be to see a peristaltic pump in their stocking!  Or the delight on a child’s face when he unwraps a wooden train whistle (you don’t get any more analog than that)!  And the whole, 2-parent, non-gay family will create lasting memories when they gather ’round to play the “Our America” trivia game.

 Yes, there are going to be at least 2,580 lucky recipients on Christmas day – that’s how many neocon-sumers have taken the Challenge!  Learn more about it straight from the source – Rick Santorum at his new blog site.

 Now, if only there was the perfect holiday mix tape as background while you’re shopping the American way…

Tom Corbett: Governor of Ped-sylvania?!?

There seems to be an awful lot of online chatter implying that the governor dragged out the Sandusky/PSU investigation for political reasons.

Maybe to spare his campaign contributors? Allegedly, past and present board members of the Second Mile charity are responsible for over half a million bucks in campaign contributions to Corbett’s 2010 election bid.  And Tom approved a state grant of $3 million to Second Mile just last summer (it was initiated under Rendell) in spite of the investigation.  Why such a big chunk of change to a tainted children’s charity while you’re slashing education funds for kids statewide?

And there are rumors swirling on the internet about a sex/pedophile ring that was coordinated out of the York County courthouse.  Allegedly, there are players involved who had close ties to Tom Corbett and the intimations are that Tom made no attempt to investigate any sex scandal or corruption in York, despite lots of credible information.  This included a cyber porn complaint from the chief of detectives herself…but no traction.

But, well, you know, Tom’s a Catholic man so illicit sexual activity that may involve pedophilia maybe doesn’t seem all that unusual.  What’s to investigate?  Yet, the New York Times ran a glowing article implying Tom was much more of a  crusader (and online conservative sentiment concurs) who was “shocked” by the inaction of Penn State administrators.  Can you say perhaps, disingenuous…?

Then there was that other institutional  child molestation case at the Milton Hershey school that seemed to quietly fade from the radar screen, though the sitting governor (a school trustee and fellow Catholic) would have known about it.  The  school simply, and quietly, settled the cases.

But the craziest, and perhaps creepiest,  incident potentially connected to all this is the disappearance of Ray Gricar, the Centre County DA, who some believe was pursuing the Sandusky matter, but met a bad end because of it.  Sure, that seems in the realm of conspiracy theorizing, but people almost never just disappear without a trace…well, unless they’ve been dissolved in acid or sent to a landfill or something.

Their rationalizations are Greek to me! Not exactly the PLATONIC IDEAL of public service…

Women’s (Dark) History Month?

March is Women’s  HERstory month and what a story it’s been so far!  Women dressing up, getting smacked down, being involuntarily sonicated, getting right with God, while some Good Christian B’s on TV are not so right with God.   Holy Isis — on top of all this there’s a huge solar storm brewing!

2012 is the Year of  the Bible in Pennsylvania. But Philadelphia (the cream cheese that is) does NOT support Good Christian women, apparently.    In other entertainment news, Bill Maher, hardly a feminist himself, has Rushed to the aid of another talking head who slandered a female Georgetown Law School student.  Back in Philadelphia, March 13th has been proclaimed “Smart and Sexy Day,” where a lingerie company is helping low income women find proper fitting undergarments to wear under their new business attire.   And one of the good women of the Pennsylvania legislature was in the news recently with her stupid and unsexy bill giving women the right to be humiliated when they seek an abortion.  Even our brave women in uniform have suffered sexual abuse at the hands of their fellow soldiers and are now suing the military.

It’s still a man’s world…I guess we should be grateful we get a whole month of our own.  Maybe even some day we won’t be dissed for at least those 31 days!

Eternal life is a bitch...

“Pennsylvania May Pass Most Extreme Ultrasound Bill in Country”

(Thanks to Randy LoBasso at Philadelphia Weekly for the headline)

 

I understand it’s a hardscrabble life out there in Pennsyltucky (or Alabamania or PenRomania or whatever snarky name you want to give our backward state) and having more children probably insures you’ll always have plenty of employees to churn out crystal meth from the family lab.  But unwanted kids in the city can end up being our crime problem and some studies back this up.  Why should the rest of us have to revert to Victorian, sharia-law like conditions in our daily lives for some rube’s parochial worldview?  Oh, sorry, sharia law is actually much MORE progressive than Pennsylvania when it comes to women’s health!  It’s amazing that the party of NO BIG GOVERNMENT is the one that wants to invade our most personal spheres time and time again.

Despite evidence to the contrary, the Pennsylvania legislature is quite shrewd —  having a woman, Kathy Rapp, introduce this bill.  (She also has a resolution designating March 2012 as “Brain Injury Awareness Month” in PA, so maybe there is something amiss with her grey matter….)

Ultrasound is a normal part of a routine abortion, so why add another expense and lots of paperwork for a procedure that will be performed anyway?  Oh… maybe that’s the point.  Make it more expensive and inconvenient for busy doctors so they will stop performing the procedure.  Pennsylvania  already forces women to undergo “counseling” prior to abortion.  This legislation, a nice example of doublespeak, actually insults women’s intelligence while purporting to care about their right to essential healthcare information.

So here’s another example of Republicans’ schizophrenic policy making…

 

Year of the Bible: A huge cost saving measure for PA schools!!!

What a brilliant measure our state legislature has come up with.  We can save money and save souls at the same time!

• Class size reduction – all you Hindu, Muslim, Jewish, and ESPECIALLY atheist kids can just stay home this year. 
• We’ll need fewer teachers and fewer classroom aides. 
• And we’ll need no new textbooks — just bring your bible from home!

For any non-Christian students who would like to attend school, we’ll have a special Home and School Conversion night just prior to the first day of school.  Students must bring a waiver if they want to participate in full immersion baptism.

There will be no American history requirement in the high schools this year.  This is a safety measure to decrease conflict in the upper grades and will eliminate any debate about constitutional issues.

Have a good year and GOD BLESS PENNSYLVANIA!  And while we’re at it, let’s all start praying that Corbett will be out of office soon…