City Council has introduced Automatic Sprinkler Bill 220299  and there has been significant pushback. We’re all for fire safety, but this is a definite overreach and will cause more problems than it purports to solve. This specific safety concern has been around for a long time, but I’m curious about this particular bill and what possible motivations may be behind it, apart from fire safety?

Former councilman (and current criminal) Bobby Henon was apparently very involved in the promotion of this bill. Even after he was “unelected”, he still had a hand in its progress. Why so concerned, Bobby? Here’s an article from 2020 that may provide some insight into what’s set Mr. Henon’s solicitude ablaze…

The revenue that could potentially accrue to the local Sprinkler Fitters’ union could be significant. The costs to retrofit high rises in Philly could be staggering. But there seems to be some local mythologizing that all condominium owners are some sort of elites with deep pockets. Not so. It should be noted that many condos are rentals, so any costs will be passed on to tenants and put another potential squeeze on affordable housing in the city.

The sad truth is that most fire deaths in America take place in homes, not high rise buildings.

Older homes are not required to have sprinklers, nor to have hardwired smoke detectors – two technologies that are known to save lives. (Post-2010 residential construction like townhouses, are required to have sprinklers, while detached and semi-detached houses are not.) Battery operated smoke detectors, when present in a home, aren’t always in working order and a common discovery in Philly house fires. Hardwired detectors might be a better use of rent money than an elaborate piping system that has its own potential problems. But the law does not seem to punish landlords for failing to insure their buildings are properly equipped in the event of a fire or disincentivise removal of detector batteries by residents. The law could probably be more creative in preventing house fires & increasing safety.

Here are some examples that may be cited by proponents of this bill. They are not examples of typical high rise fires, of which there have been very few in Philly over the years. Here a fire started in a high-rise basement and some basements of high rises are actually exempt from the law. 

A 2018 arson fire is often mentioned. Call me crazy, but if an owner is purposely burning down his building, with zero regard for the neighbors, I suspect he’s going to turn off the sprinklers, so bad example.

There was a tragic fire in a small apartment building in Philly in January of 2022 and a dozen people died. That building would have been exempt from the current legislation.

The structures in these examples are a far cry from mid-century high rises built of steel and concrete with hardwired smoke detectors, effective fire towers and elaborate alert systems for residents. Buildings like this are extremely safe, but this bill is a one-size-fits-all. There do not seem to be any considerations for buildings that already meet strict criteria. This is another reason why it should be suspect.

There are more cost effective ways to insure Philadelphians are safe from fires in their residences and other technologies that don’t favor certain unions. This bill is not an example of a thoughtful response to fire safety. Mark Squilla and Katherine Gilmore Richardson should either amend it significantly or rewrite it altogether to create a true and reasonable fire safety bill for all Philadelphians.

As if we don’t have enough bad local politicians…Now we’re importing uber-rich wannabes from other states. But besides extreme wealth, they have something else in common – a tenuous Pennsylvania connection. Some more tenuous than others…

Dave McCormick was actually born in PA, so he has that bit of cred. He’s got a PhD from Princeton and is currently a member of the board of trustees of the left-leaning Aspen Institute. Until last week, he was president of one of the largest hedge funds in the country. Not exactly a regular Joe from central PA. He worked in the Bush administration in Treasury, so is sort of one of those “revolving door” guys – what some might term a member of “the swamp”. He implies his dad was just a humble Christmas tree farmer, when in fact, he was president of Bloomsburg University and Chancellor of the State Higher Education system. Oh, and Dave’s lived in Connecticut for a couple of decades. He says he’s going to save us from the “woke mob.” If you associate “wokeness” with academics, Ivy Leaguers & well-heeled folks from New England, then it appears he’s been hobnobbing with woke folks most of his life.

Another Ivy League educated physician-turned-Carhartt-wearing Regular Joe with an even weaker connection to PA is Dr. Mehmet Oz. He IS an American (born in OH), but maintains Turkish citizenship and served 2 years in the Turkish army (like most Americans, right?). He comes from a wealthy family and is filthy rich himself. He is accomplished in the medical field, but for the last two decades has mostly “played” a doctor on TV vs. working as a doctor IRL. Medical colleagues have also called him out for some of his unscientific health claims. He only lived in PA while completing his post-graduate studies at UPenn – that’s his sole connection. Unless you count his in-laws living here as a solid connection? He’s lived in NJ most of his adult life and owns an estate in southern Florida.

My favorite Dr. Oz commercial is him standing in front of a repurposed steelmaking site, which is now an arts venue, and claiming it went out of business during the Biden administration. The plant was shuttered in the 90s. Maybe he doesn’t know this because he’s generally ignorant of all things Pennsylvanian?!?

So Carla Sands has the strongest PA pedigree. She was born and raised here and even attended Elizabethtown College. However, she’s lived in California for close to 30 years in some of LA’s toniest neighborhoods. She is a strong Trumpist and bought herself an ambassadorship to Denmark with a $100,000 inauguration donation. She married well and has spent millions of her own money on her campaign already. As a former actress, chiropractor, and CEO who has never held elected office, she seems perfectly unfit for the US senate representing Pennsylvania. We haven’t seen her TV ads yet, but are looking forward to them. Maybe she’ll be out on state game lands providing free musculoskeletal adjustments to hunters who have been crouched in their tree stands too long.

Philadelphians are no strangers to superlatives: ugliestdirtiestfattest, and once again, GQ Magazine has rated our sports fans as among the worst.

Now, shamefully, we can add another unique moment in the history of shameful Philadelphia episodes…We have destroyed a lovable, helpless robot. The poor hitchBOT was able to traverse all of Canada, traveled to Europe, was welcomed to Bean Town, and survived a visit to New York City. But Philadelphia was its Waterloo (or should we say, Wooderloo). It’s not clear exactly what happened, but we can imagine some likely scenarios.  What we do know is that we are some of the meanest urbanites in the world…

hitchbotdemise

It looks like the faithful coming for the papal visit in September will be making a true, old fashioned pilgrimage. As in, they will have to walk for miles. It appears that the security will be even more stalwart than the faith of the followers with a “security perimeter” that will stretch for blocks. Which doesn’t exactly radiate a welcoming spirit…

COPE2015

As of now the security measures have not been carved in stone, but it’s not going to be any paradise for the locals. Roads, highways, and even bridges may be closed. Philly Mag thinks we should get some forbearance since this is such a colossal undertaking.

And our esteemed Mayor has even traveled to the Holy See to get some logistical pointers.

Perhaps the multitudes will not be as great as first thought – reports of disillusionment with the pontiff have been brought to light.

Regardless of the potential mess on the ground, it will be a rapturous time for many Catholics and an economic godsend for local businesses.

In terms of actual logistics, the devil may be in the details…

Stamp of the Inaccessible City

Let’s stamp out any appearance of ungraciousness!  (Translation: I’m tired of walking. How many more kilometers?)

It seems Christine Flowers is right, she’s a born conservative. Science has actually found biological differences between people of differing political viewpoints. But, Christine seems to believe that being a conservative makes her superior to immoral, un-American, “liberals” and homosexuals. Her writings are usually predictable and slightly overwrought, but now we know it’s her brain that’s to blame – she’s not simply trying to write as badly as possible. Her most recent column is full of the purplest of prose (though she might go red at the reference to any shade of lavendar). Miss Flowers’ latest screed is inspired by the recent Supreme Court decision on gay marriage. Its incomprehensible writing supports her thesis that the decision has her totally addled. She LIBERALLY employs a thesaurus, but fails to CONSERVE coherence in her column.

We usually find her writing pretentious and cliched. But, now that we know she can’t help it, we can just read her blog for entertainment value…

flowerladystrawman

Scarecrow: I haven’t got a brain… only straw. Dorothy: How can you talk if you haven’t got a brain? Scarecrow: I don’t know… But some people without brains do an awful lot of talking… don’t they? Dorothy: Yes, I guess you’re right.

Let’s support Santorum in all his sartorial splendor!

santoruminvested

Talk about an unholy alliance…If you google “ARAmark” and “evil” you get 29,800 hits. But perhaps the megacorporation has done some penance, as they are the chosen ones for official merchandise for the Pope’s visit to Philadelphia.

ARAmark sure knows how to put the FUN in the profundo!  Let’s face it, piety and abstinence are sooo last millennium.  It’s the 21st century and even a pilgrimage by the Holy See has to be accompanied by a merchandising crusade. But we’re sure all the money will go to the poor…oh, wait…Anyway….take a look at some of these Biblically inspired bibelots!

Holy logos, look at all those fine garments! There are lovely vessels for drinking water AND wine; dishes for serving your daily bread; baby rosary beads; and don’t cross crucifixes off the gift list, there will be more of those than the loaves and fishes!

Don’t cut corners on your Pope-wear, get this “I Mitre Pope Francis” t-shirt now!

The only suggestion we might have is a few more “Phillycentric” souvenirs…Maybe silver bullets for killing local werewolves and protecting yourself from those residents who lack halos? Papal pretzels? Or maybe some other regionally inspired tchotchkes…

phanaticphreindsholy

Get the whole trinity of plush toys — the Father, the Satan, and the history spirit!

Philly.com has an article about a recently published report that includes Philadelphia as a “divided city.”  The report is thin on original ideas, but thick with sound bites. This new report cites David Brooks and Charles Murray (talk about academic rigor – NOT!). Two conservatives whose arguments rarely stand up to intellectual scrutiny.  Oddly, the tone of this “report” is quite Brooksian…Social Science based on vague “research” and popular conservative cultural ideas. It also seems to favor urban models developed in the mid century. We think it should more accurately be titled, “Using GIS and US Census Data to Put a New Spin on the Age Old Class Divisions While Padding Your Curriculum Vitae.”

The use of “creative class” in this report (from a Toronto university) is a bit of a misnomer and disingenuous.  What about artists, writers, etc. who are the truly creative among us, vs. those in finance and law (not terribly “creative” pursuits).  True creatives often live in cheaper neighborhoods, so would be “outliers” in this report. The report’s “creative” class really just describes the rich. Maybe it’s just their data analysis that’s truly creative.

The report paints American cities with a very broad brush and makes inaccurate assumptions (e.g., about Center City). This locale hasn’t been “industrial” for quite some time, if ever. Though the researchers assume it was an industrialized part of the city and is now just a residential area filled by the “creative” class (i.e., yuppies). The maps in the report are also rather specious. The “pluralities” of a certain “class” identified in any given area may be just over 50%, but the tract is still given only one designation. This is how Manayunk is creative, but “Richmond” is not.  Yes, they don’t even have the neighborhood names listed correctly…

Creative mapmaking and Yuppiemandering

Creative mapmaking and Yuppiemandering

Society Hill vs Southwark is an old example of the divide that this report argues is some completely novel phenomenon. There have always been geographic and class divisions in America.  Population growth and universal college education have simply produced more people with better pedigrees to live in more desirable locales so they can push the poor out further. The situation is not new, but the numbers are.  This report will not be read by most, but it’s “findings” will be repeated and reported widely.  Maybe that was the point all along…

We should be looking for ways to Brook these divides...

We should be looking for ways to Brook these divides…